Why are we so willing to settle for less?

Why are we so willing to settle for less?  Did that get your attention?  Probably.  You’re reading this.  As if “we” somehow covers everyone.  But it does.  Or as if literally everyone really does settle for less.  And yet, we do.  So much less.  Less than what?  Less than what we could have.  Not only right this moment, but every moment after this one.  For the rest of our lives.  And even beyond. 

Hard to believe?  Apparently not too hard, since you’re still reading.  And even for someone who doesn’t believe it, that lack of belief doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

Neither does the saying, less is more.  There are a couple different claimed sources for that saying, but the point is that simplicity is good.  Well, maybe.  It depends.  Simple what?  Less of what?  And what’s the “more” that we supposedly end up with, as a result of having less?  

But that’s not the kind of “less” I’m talking about. When I say, “settle for less,” I’m not talking about simplicity. I’m talking about the quiet way we stop reaching for the fullness Jesus promised — sometimes because life has worn us down, sometimes because we never learned to expect more.

Is less really more?

Is less really more? That depends. It requires thought to answer the question.  More thought, not less.  Otherwise, we blindly accept that less is always more – and we happily settle for less all the time.  But again, less of what?  More of what? 

If we don’t ask questions, and think about those questions, that lack of asking questions and reflecting on the answers actually is the answer to my question.  We settle for less because we’re not engaged enough to really care what we gave up – and what, if anything, we got in return for giving up whatever it was that we gave up.

Got it?  

Probably not.  Because I didn’t really say anything truly meaningful.  It’s all very general and nondescript. And that really is the answer to the question.  We settle for less because we don’t take the time to examine the difference between what we settle for – and what we could have had instead.  

Maybe we don’t have time.  More likely, we don’t think we have time.  It’s a matter of priorities.  Because the truth is – we absolutely do have time.  We have time to do all sorts of things.  By deciding we don’t have time to deal with certain things is to automatically put those things low on our priority list.  In other words, we have time, but we choose not to spend it on certain things.  That’s another reason we settle for less.  We do it without even thinking about it.  Darn – there’s that thinking thing again.

Got it now?

I hope so.  Because now I really have said something. 

We think to think.  We need to prioritize.  And we need to care.  By doing those three things, we don’t have to settle for less.  As I said at the beginning, we can have that more.  Not only right this moment, but every moment after this one.  For the rest of our lives.  And even beyond. 

What is that “more”?  That’s what we’re about to find out.

Stay with me through this next quote.  It’s important.

Here’s another reason why we settle for less.  BTW – don’t worry about exactly what the quote below means.

✏️ Our activities must come from within a framework of discipleship in which we are
constantly dependent upon the interaction of the Holy Spirit with our souls, one in
which we refuse to depend upon our natural abilities and relationships in the world,
social as well as physical, “apart from God.” In recent decades we have seen
spectacular failures on the part of outstanding preachers, teachers, and
“communicators.” In every case, the failure is traceable to attitudes and behaviors
that would have pretty much been eliminated by measures that are a matter of course
for one who is really prepared to follow Jesus in his overall style of life or to
follow Paul, who says to the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1
Cor. 11: 1). ¹Willard, Dallas. The Allure of Gentleness (p. 21). HarperOne. Kindle Edition.

Dallas Willard. The Allure of Gentleness

See why I said don’t worry about what that quote meant?  It’s probably not something most people would just instantly grasp.  That’s not too surprising, since it’s from Dallas Willard – a philosopher, minister, professor at USC, among other things.  

It takes time, effort, thinking and caring enough about what he wrote before we can prioritize it high enough to even try to understand.  

It takes more too.  It’s about Christianity, so it also takes the Holy Spirit.  These days, even many Christians seem to think that’s pretty much not going to happen – getting the Holy Spirit involved.  Either that, or we’ve gone so far in the other direction that people are afraid of us, because we’re “weird” if we interact with the Holy Spirit.  It takes time, effort, thinking and caring enough about that too, before we can prioritize it high enough to even try to understand what the Holy Spirit is about.

By now, it probably seems like Christianity is too much work.  Too much effort. Like maybe less really is more.  For sure, less is better – so we hope.

Why was the early church in the Bible so unwilling to settle for less?

Let’s make this easier.  Think about your life.  Your education.  The world you live in.

Now, think about the guys who followed Jesus on a daily basis. 

Matthew was a tax collector.  But hey – there was no IRS in those days.  The math was simple.  Rome wanted a certain amount of money from each tax collector.  For example, Matthew.  But there weren’t all the regulations we have today that take CPA’s and lawyers to understand – and even they disagree.  All Matthew had to do was charge the people more than what he had to give to Rome.  Whatever was left over – it was his.  Simple!

Some of them were fishermen.  Sure, today we have complex weather reports, sonar mappings to figure out where the fish are, lengthy regulations about when and where to fish, catch limits, and all sorts of other things.  Back then?  Nope.  Go out on a boat, drop a net, pull in the net.  What’s in the net is your catch.

Does it take an advanced education to follow Jesus?

Those guys were not today’s Certified Public Accountants, lawyers, rocket scientists.  Paul was a Pharisee who was well versed in the Jewish religion, but those who followed Jesus every day for three years weren’t.  They never attended seminary.  They didn’t have years of education about Christianity.  They didn’t have a whole lot of things that we have today.  And yet, they “got it” in a way that we seem to find next to impossible today.  If anything, all our education hurts, rather than helps.

And you know what?  If you read carefully, they never really did “get it” while they traveled with Jesus.  How many times do we read things like them asking Jesus to explain what He’d just said?  And even Jesus asking them how come they still didn’t get it?  So the fact that they literally walked with Jesus didn’t give them any major advantage over us at all – at least not when it came to understanding. They saw things, they heard things, but came up short on the “understand the things they saw and heard”.

The disciples, who traveled with Jesus, didn’t “get it” until they had the Holy Spirit.  The same Holy Spirit we can have today.  The one who’ll help us understand all of this.  BTW – if you don’t already know, the Holy Spirit is, as Paul points out, the mind of Jesus!

It doesn’t have to be as hard as we make it.  

No, it doesn’t really need to be all that complicated.  It wasn’t God that made it hard.  We did.

Consider the quote above.

… a matter of course for one who is really prepared to follow Jesus in his overall style of life or to follow Paul, who says to the Corinthians, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11: 1).

Dallas Willard was writing about a specific thing – failures on the part of some outstanding people that could’ve been avoided. But the concept, at a broad level, is knowing what we want to do, why we’re doing it – and keeping both of those things at the center of our lives. The idea can be summed up by knowing and remembering the reasons for what we do.

Next, look at the one below.

1Pe 3:15 … Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, …

There are translations that put it even more plainly.

Always be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks you about the hope you have. Be ready to give the reason for it. But do it gently and with respect.

There are drawbacks to the really simple translations.  Things really can get lost in the translation – literally.  However, they are a starting point. 

And in this case, the starting point is remembering the reasons for the things we do. As for ‘what’ we do – the reasons will bring out the ‘what’. When we consider a course of action, or choose between actions, remembering that we’re choosing as one whose goal is to follow Jesus, we’ll end up with a choice of actions that fit the reason, and everything else will be swept aside.

Why are we so willing to settle for less?  Priorities?

Remember, we all started knowing nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Even Jesus had to learn when He was a child. He even had to learn about His religion. And someone who makes it their profession, like as a university professor, is quite possibly going to get further along in their understanding from those of us who have day jobs.  Having said that, remember that it’s not just the time spent.  It’s the presence and acceptance of the Holy Spirit.

But there is something between being a professor or pastor of a big church or something like that – and being satisfied with doing the absolute minimum and hoping it’s good enough to get to Heaven.  And that’s assuming our definition of absolute minimum is even something real.

Jesus said, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  Isn’t that a promise about something that’s worth making a high priority in our lives? Not just higher, but high.

By the way, if you’re thinking what’s so special about being Christian – we’re just like everyone else. Settling for less is part of the reason why.  Maybe we’re even worse, because when we settle for less, we’re like a bunch of hypocrites – say one thing and do another.  When we settle for less than what Jesus actually taught, that’s what can happen.  When we don’t make learning about what Jesus said a high priority in our lives, then those kinds of reactions are bound to follow. After all, if we don’t learn what Jesus taught or promised, how can we even think about asking for more? To repeat an earlier question – more what?

It’s not God’s fault.  It’s not a problem with Christianity.  It’s a problem with those of us who claim we’re Christian – but then don’t make actually being a Christian a high priority in our lives.  Again, it’s a consequence that’s just bound to follow us when we settle for less.

For those of you who feel that way, do you really want to pass up what Jesus offers just because some other people haven’t made living the Christian life a priority?  Claiming to be Christian is one thing.  Actually being one is quite another thing.  Don’t settle for less just because someone else did.

Don’t want to settle for less?

Don’t get me wrong on Dallas Willard.  I really like his books.  They do require thinking.  And the Holy Spirit.  And let’s not forget about time.  And all that means we have to prioritize them in our busy lives.  Not easy.

I think one of, if not the biggest, blessings of being retired is having the time to do exactly that.  Yes, life still goes on.  There are other things that come up.  And there are other things I like to do.   But still, this is important.

One of the other things I find to be very rewarding is to research these things and then turn around and write about them and teach at my church.  No – I’m not a pastor.  I’m a retired IT guy who loves to take the time to learn more about the Creator of everything.

So, Why are we so willing to settle for less?

Most of us don’t choose less on purpose. We drift into it. We get tired. We get discouraged. We stop expecting anything different. I did all of that.

But Jesus didn’t promise a thinner life — He promised a fuller one. Eventually, I remembered this.

The question now is whether we’re willing to notice where we’ve settled, and whether we’re willing to take even one step toward more. That first step led to another, and another, …, and it has been, and continues to be, an incredible journey.

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Footnotes:

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  Willard, Dallas. The Allure of Gentleness (p. 21). HarperOne. Kindle Edition.