Life’s not fair!

Life’s not fair! But who ever said it would be?

Someone tries to comfort us with, “Maybe it’s better this way.”

We snap back, “Life’s not fair!”

Not exactly a news flash. Everyone knows that.

And we can go on and on about why it isn’t fair — especially why it isn’t fair to us.
Some of us blame God.
Some of us feel abandoned.
Some of us decide He must not exist at all.
Others, like me, believed He existed but was mad at me, so I ran away from Him.

Pain pulls us in all kinds of directions, and fairness becomes the banner we wave when we don’t know what else to do.

Life’s not fair!

No, life’s not fair. How many of us have been in the same field, metaphorically speaking, as the man in the adjacent image? At our wits end because of what’s happening to us.

You may have noticed the cross in the background. As for the man in the image, maybe he did – but maybe he didn’t.

It really doesn’t matter though, does it? We all have those times when we’ve reached our limit. We just don’t even want to hear about one more thing to add to our sense of despair. We want to get away from it all. But we can’t.

You’re probably waiting for me to quote a verse or two from the Bible, tell you I’ll pray for you, and go on my way. That happens way too often. Platitudes, whether Biblical or something else, just don’t fix these times. As someone who has lived with depression for as long as I can remember – even back to feeling like no one cared about me at four years old – trust me, I know that platitudes, nice sayings, “it’ll be OK” – that kind of stuff and being left to process it on my own just didn’t work.

Having said that, I am going to turn to the Bible. But I’m not going to spout and run. I’m not going to tell you the Bible says life is far. Hint – it doesn’t say that at all.

No – this is going to be a look at what the Bible says about life not being fair – from someone who’s known from the earliest possible age that life isn’t fair. And from someone who finally learned after many decades, that it truly is a good thing that life isn’t fair. So, stick with me here and let’s check out that idea together.

What does the Bible say about life not being fair?

Let’s start with Proverbs. It’s part of what’s known as “Wisdom Literature” in the Old Testament.

So, the key word is there: “fair”. But then, after a couple other words, we read: “doing what is right and just and fair”.

That means we’ve added doing what’s right into the mix, as well as doing what’s just. Those are the kinds of things that this passage says we can learn from the Book of Proverbs.

So, it seems that the concept of fairness can’t be removed from “righteousness” and “justice”. And that makes sense. All of these words imply some sense of values. Fairness can’t really be evaluated without also looking at what is right or wrong. It also cannot be evaluated without some concept of justice: rewards for doing right; penalties for doing wrong. All of life is based on this.

That’s all well and good, but we all know what’s wrong with that thought. The problem is, all too often, the one with the most power gets to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. Not to mention that justice is in the eye of the beholder. And reality doesn’t always have anything to do with what’s conceived of as being right, just, or fair. Maybe especially if it’s looked at from our own eyes.

Now, it’s also true that with God, He has the power. He also decides what’s right, just, and fair. The difference, and this is where faith comes in, is that His concepts of these three terms are pure.

But even with God, we may have trouble with that. Wewhe’re used to either being victimized by “justice”, or being able to circumvent “justice”, depending on who we are and how much power and authority we hold over others. That all goes away with God. We will never be able to circumvent His justice. Now the question becomes – is that a good thing?

A further look at what’s right, just, and fair in Proverbs

We don’t need to go far into Proverbs to find the next reference to fairness in life.

Once again, the key thought is there:

Pr 2:9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

The thing is, there’s a lot of other stuff before verse 9. Sure, I could’ve pulled out that one verse, told you to just suck it up and do this and everything’ll be fine. But then, I know better. Remember, I’m one of those who didn’t just turn away from God – I ran away from Him. It’s great to point to this and say it works. But it’s another thing entirely to be able to get from where we are to the point where it can begin to start to work.

So, those first eight verses – they are important. Definitely, read them. Try as best you can to understand them at this point. But mostly, try to remember them. Only with some understanding and with remembrance can we recogsearnize when these things have actually begun to happen. As we’ll see – there’s a good chance they will indeed happen before we come to realize it.

The importance of understanding Fear of The Lord

Proverbs was written by Solomon, whose father was King David. David wrote Psalm 111, which spoke to the Fear of The Lord and wisdom. Let’s take a quick look at that, before moving on with Solomon’s verses on “Moral Benefits of Wisdom”.

OK – the “key” verses in are the highlighted ones, 9-11.

Pr 2:9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

Pr 2:10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

Pr 2:11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

And yet, if they aren’t explained, you’ll almost certainly have some questions. For instance, “How will I understand what’s right or just?” Or, “How will these things protect me?” Maybe just something simple and basic like, “How can understanding guard me?”

That’s the danger of pulling out a few verses. Doing that can be a reminder for someone who already knows what this is all about. But if you don’t know, it’s just some words that make promises that don’t make much sense.

And so, let’s look at the beginning of the passage. Solomon says these things are possible, but before we can understand how or why, we need to accept and remember the things he wrote/said. And – before we can accept or remember, we also need to: listen, get our heart involved in listening – not just the brain, call out to God for insight and understanding, search for understanding and meaning with the belief that they are valuable. Then, God will provide the wisdom and the protection. Then we get to the key verses.

Does that sound impossible? How can we want something we don’t understand? Well, consider pretty much anything in life. If we want something, good, bad, or indifferent, we have to go for it. Work for it. Few things are just handed to us. It’s the same here. If we want the things promised in Proverbs 2:9-11, then we have to do what’s required to get them.

As for the why questions, there’s more to the passalotge, but even what I included begins to let us kgonow why these things are important.

They also begin to let us know something about the timing. As the title says, life’s not fair. God doesn’t force life to be “fair”. His promises are for the next life. And really, that’s a big deal, even though we may not appreciate it at first. This life is short. Sometimes it seems too short. Sometimes, too long, considering what we’re going through. But eternity? That’s forever. That’s what these promises are about. Eternity.

Proverbs gives us the framework, but Paul gives us the lived example. So, now that we’ve seen some of the theory behind our claim that life’s not fair, let’s move to something practical.

Is life fair? Paul’s second letter to the church in Corinth

If there’s anyone who could scream to God about life not being fair, it was Paul. He was serving God, the Creator of everything, what was his life like? Lots of trouble, getting beat up, put in prison, stuck in riots, and on and on – all for what he was doing in the name of Jesus. He wrote about that in one of his letters to the Corinthian Church.

That’s certainly a lot of trouble. Lots of reasons to say life’s not fair.

But wait – look where Paul finally writes about “a fair exchange”.

13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.

Paul isn’t saying that what’s happening to him – the beatings, imprisonment, hunger, or any of that is what’s not fair. No. He’s telling the people in Corinth that they aren’t fair – that they should open up their hearts.

But here’s the key question about that. Open up their hearts to who, exactly? To him? To God? And just as importantly, why should they open their hearts to anyone?

Was Paul self-ish or self-less?

I was curious about that, so I checked with the AI agent for my eLibrary and got confirmation for the answer I expected. I asked:

In “2 Co 6:11 We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. 12 We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. 13 As a fair exchange—I speak as to my children—open wide your hearts also.” – does Paul want the people to open their hearts to him mostly so they can receive God, as opposed to mostly because it’s something owed to him personally for everything he did for them?

And here’s the response:

Some things to note from that include:

• It was not a transactional request. Reducing people to transactions is insulting and demeaning.
• We know from the overall context of Paul’s many letters that this wasn’t just about him.
  • Yes, he is asking for what’s due to him. Honestly, we shouldn’t have to be asked to do that. As followers of Jesus, we should always give that freely and without prompting.
  • The more important reason for Paul is that if he isn’t accepted and treated as a leader, then it will ultimately hinder the relationship between those he leads and Jesus. And that’s his ultimate concern, always. Doing whatever he can to lead people to Jesus, and also to help them, as he puts it, finish the race.

And so, Paul is saying that what’s unfair is that the Corinthians are closing their hearts.

And isn’t that exactly what we do when we choose to ignore what God tells us about Himself?

Think about this. For all the people who are mad at God (as I was), who are calling Him unfair, who don’t like His rules, who are unhappy about something related to Him – every single one of them (myself included) cannot claim that we were not told. We absolutely were told! Otherwise, we couldn’t complain! It’s just not possible to complain about something about which we know nothing. One has to know that something exists in order to complain about that thing.

We absolutely do know He claims to be God. We absolutely do have the ability to read His rules – and the good stuff too – in the Bible. Whether we choose to read them – that’s another story. Some hear that He’s God – and complain right away.

As noted above, we also have the ability, if we choose to read the Bible, to understand it – or not. Some will read – and complain, without ever attempting to understand it.

And then there’s the problem – also discussed in the Bible – of Satan. Too many people read the Bible – don’t understand it – but still claim they are right and that the Bible says God’s a horrible person. And some people who really are trying to understand God – end up going to someone or someplace that has the wrong idea. It’s good to ask questions – but it’s also important to go back to what the Bible actually says – and see if it lines up. People who don’t believe that God is loving, kind, righteous, just, and fair – they don’t get it. If we’re with that kind of person, or at that kind of church – it’s time to find another source of information about God.

Let me ask just one question – then we’ll proceed. If God was really mean and out to get people and send us all to Hell – why was Jesus on earth to (a) tell us about the love the Father has for us and (b) to then die such a horrible death for us? Would you do that for someone you hated? Would you go through all that if the goal was to torture people in Hell for eternity? It doesn’t make sense. (I know – that was more than one question.)

A final thought from 2 Corinthians

The closing sections of this letter say a lot about us. As you read them, ask yourselthis pf, “How do I feel about the person who wrote these words to me”? No, they weren’t literally written to you. And yet, I dare say, for the vast majority of us, if not indeed all of us, the words either did, do, or will apply to every one of our lives.

This passage, especially verses 1-4, sound bad. Kind of like Paul is getting personally involved a bit too much. But again, we need to look at this from the overall context surrounding Paul’s ministry. Here’s more on that concern, and why it’s not the case.

My question:

Since we don’t really know details from the actual letters, what do scholars think is behind this from 1 Cor 13: “On my return I will not spare those who sinned earlier or any of the others, since you are demanding proof that Christ is speaking through me.”

And the response:

This is another response that’s born out not only by Paul’s life as a follower of Jesus, but also by Jesus’ own interactions with people. When talking with “ordinary” people, Jews that were curious about Jesus, He was very gentle, understanding, patient. And yet, when dealing with those who should have known better but attacked Him instead, Jesus’ words were very different. For an example, check out What’s The Significance Of Yeast In The Bible?

The bottom line here is that Paul was practicing what he preached- his “power” is from Jesus, not from his own strength. By question Paul, they were questioning Jesus – and Jesus can and will take care of Himself. On His terms. In His own time. God doesn’t force us to believe – and Paul was following that example.

And to really send that message home, there’s the final greeting to this letter.

That’s a closing from someone who truly cares about the people he’s writing to.

Having gotten this far, do you realize we still haven’t read anything about life being fair to us. Fairness – yes. To us – no. From us – yes.

There’s one last instance of the word fair in this context

Let’s look at something Paul wrote. See if it applies to our search for fairness in life. I’ll point out ahead of time, the opening verse isn’t going to sound like it. At least not in our time today. And if anything, it gets worse as it goes on. But hang in there.

Somehow – I’m guessing this doesn’t fit in with most of you are looking for. It wasn’t what I often felt like. This is all about how we should treat others – not about they should treat us.

It’s also not entirely treated the same way in modern times as it was back then. But that’s a topic for another day. For now, suffice it to say that this doesn’t apply either. My reason for including it though – that might be obvious by now. It’s really hard to find anything about the fairness of life.

Surely – somewhere – God must have meant life to be fair.

Let’s turn back to Solomon. This time, he’s writing under the moniker of teacher – “Qoheleth” in Ecclesiastes. In some ways it’s a sarcastic book – seemingly concluding with nothing in life matters. But when taken in the overall Biblical context, it earns the subtitle of a very good book by Philip Graham Ryken – Ecclesiastes: Why Everything Matters.

So, as with so many things in the Bible, context matters – and I’ll try to make it’s meaning clear.

If you check out the entire passage from Ecclesiastes 3, many of you will recognize the opening verses as lyrics in “Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)”, a song by The Byrds in the mid sixties. The rest of it’s not so famous. But it is important.

So, please, think about what it says as you read it. Try to relate to what it says.

After all that, reading “So I saw that there is nothing better for a man than to enjoy his work, because that is his lot. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?” – it’s rather depressing isn’t it? But remember, I pointed out that in many ways, the book is very sarcastic. Without getting deep into that, we’ll move to the end of the book and actually see it in just a moment.

Hidden hope in the midst of life

But first, let’s examine the highlighted verses:

Ecc 3:15 Whatever is has already been,
and what will be has been before;
and God will call the past to account.

Ecc 3:16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
in the place of justice—wickedness was there.

Ecc 3:17 I thought in my heart,
“God will bring to judgment
both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
a time for every deed.”

So yes, we might lose hope, especially if we hang on to the wrong verses. Studies show we tend to remember the beginnings and endings of things we read or hear. But notice, the good parts are in the middle. The good parts also tell us to be patient. God will act – but on His schedule – not ours. God’s acting may come when we’re no longer on the planet. Thosefi are the important parts we need to remember.

The conclusion of the matter

So now – let’s flip to the end of the last chapter.

The thing here is to understand and remember – those words keep popping up – that “fear of the Lord” isn’t supposed to be about “really being afraid” kind of fear. It’s about being in awe of what God has done, is doing, and will do. As always, how we interpret that is up to us. And how it actually impacts us is very much based on how we choose to interpret it.

And that part about what God will do is most prominent in the final verse of Ecclesiastes:

Now, let’s go back to our search for fairness in life. Honestly, have we found any evidence that the Bible says life will be fair?

No.

So, everything to this point makes me ask a different question ….

Wouldn’t it be great if life really was fair?

It’s kind of scary to begin a new search, but let’s see if anything in the Bible gets into that thought.

The Flood

Do you remember The Flood – in Genesis? Let’s take a look at something on that topic.

Uh oh. That doesn’t sound so great. Maybe this fairness thing isn’t all it was cut out to be.

Well, the people were so bad that their Creator grieved even creating them in the first place. That’s very bad. If that’s what they deserved for all the evil they did, what does that mean for us?

Maybe with a bit of trepidation, let’s keep moving forward.

Sodom and Gomorrah

There is the issue of Sodom and Gomorrah – which a lot of people today would really like to forget – but still – it is there – with the conclusion in Gen 19:23-25:

The problem with fairness – it goes both ways

What is “fair” depends on how objective the observer is.

The people in Noah’s time – they got what was right and just and fair.

The people in Lot’s time – they got what was right and just and fair.

How can I say that those people got what was right and fair?

The prelude to Sodom & Gomorrah – from 50 to 10

What follows is, I think, one of the most amazing passages in the Bible. What it shows about a man, Abraham (not Abram, but Abraham after the name change) and his bargaining with God is just unreal.

That was unreal. We feel like we bargain with God. Abraham started with 50 people. But even he wasn’t sure about finding 50good people. So, he went for 45. Then 40. 30. 20. And all the way down to 10. The city was destroyed.

There’s another scenario playing out as well, very similar. This was with Lot and his family. Lot was Abraham’s nephew. Lot made a deal for this family. His sons-in-law didn’t believe him, so they refused to leave. Those who did flee were told not to look back Lot’s wife did – and died.

Was the judgment deserved?

Was the punishment deserved? Or was it unfair?

Remember this verse:

Ge 18:20 Then the LORD said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous 21 that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know.”

There was an outcry about what was going on there. But the interesting thing is, in spite of the outcry, there weren’t even ten good people living there!

And, in the case of Lot, we see something else that’s especially relevant today:

Ge 19:9 “Get out of our way,” they replied. And they said, “This fellow came here as an alien, and now he wants to play the judge! We’ll treat you worse than them.” They kept bringing pressure on Lot and moved forward to break down the door.

Yes – breaking down doors to get to aliens. That does sound familiar.

What do you think?

Then you will understand what is right and just and fair

Do you remember, earlier we looked at Proverbs 2:9 — Pr 2:9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair…

Ten good people were not found.

Abraham didn’t turn away from God after that. He didn’t get angry at God.

God did what was fair.

Abraham is known for his faithfulness to God. What happened didn’t change that. He knew that what God did was just – the people were doing wrong, and there was a price to be paid – consequences for our actions. He knew that what God did was right – the people were doing wrong, and at some point it had to be stopped. And he knew that God was fair.

Pr 2:9 Then you will understand what is right and just and fair…

Abraham understood.

Many from the Old Testament times understood. Many called out to God – asking Him how long He was going to let so many evil people live. They wanted a world where righteousness, justice, and fairness prevailed. Somewhere along the line, we seem to have crossed over to not wanting that anymore. Even many who claim to follow God and call themselves Christians want God to loosen up and not punish evil anymore. But then there’s no justice. And there’s no righteousness. There’s no reason to not do wrong. There’s also no reason to do right either. It’s a world where anything goes. At what point will even murder be acceptable – because someone thinks killing another person what the right thing to do, in their minds, and therefore it was OK? Where does it end? And who gets to decide? Then fairness truly is out the window.

When will we understand that?

It seems we still don’t have a good answer to our question yet. I mean – if that was fair, then how come God doesn’t do it all the time? And how come He doesn’t do it to individuals? And when God does act, why does it take so long?

Time to ask a different question.

We have to realize, we live in a fallen world – a world that isn’t the way it was meant to be. Sometimes, stuff just happens.

We also need to take note that the examples we saw of God acting were from the Old Testament. Yes, we still have consequences for our actions. But the ultimate consequences for us under the New Covenant, the New Testament, are long term. Often, that means in the next life.

Given those things. we need to look at a different question.

Instead of asking of life is fair – meaning is God fair, we should look at it differently. We should ask, “Was there ever a time when God did something that wasn’t right and just and fair?

Actually – to tell the truth – there was one time that comes to mind.

When God wasn’t just and fair

But first – let’s go back and see the beginning of this article –

And we can all go on and on about why it isn’t fair – especially why it isn’t fair to us. And – we probably throw in something about God not being fair to us – maybe even that He abandoned us.

Maybe you remember that one time. Someone was killed. Someone who didn’t do anything to deserve it. Someone who, just before he died, cried out to God, asking why he was abandoned and forsaken.

Maybe this will help, if you haven’t figured it out yet.

Mt 27:45 From the sixth hour until the ninth hour darkness came over all the land. About the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Think life isn’t fair? Ask Jesus about that one. What did He ever do to deserve that? Nothing.

What did we ever do to deserve the life we have? Nothing.

What we deserve is the death the people of Noah’s time got.

What we deserve is the death the people of Abraham’s time got.

What we deserve is the death the people of Lot’s time got.

What we actually get is a chance at the eternal life that Jesus died to give us.

Life isn’t fair!

No – it isn’t.

No matter what we may think at certain times in our lives – we get so much when we deserve nothing.

Thank God – Life isn’t fair.

Thank God that He wants to maintain justice, righteousness, and fairness in the world we live in. Thank God that Jesus paid the price for what we’ve done wrong. Thank God that we don’t have to suffer for eternity. Thank God that we don’t have to be perfect – because we can’t be. Thank God that Jesus was perfect in our place – and that His righteousness can be credited to us. Thank God that He hasn’t forsaken us.

Thank God that life isn’t fair.

That’s what the young man in the adjacent image has learned along the way,

I invite you to compare it with the one at the top of the page. The cross isn’t way off in the distance at the top of a high mountain. It’s right there. And his anger, frustration, and despair is replaced with gratitude.

He’s giving thanks for the realization he now has on what God has done for him, even though he didn’t do anything to deserve it.

When we reach this moment, it’s easy to think transformation is something that comes later — something God will eventually do to us, or something we’ll have to brace ourselves for. But the truth is quieter and far more beautiful. The very shift that brings us to say “Thank you” is already the beginning of our transformation.

We don’t fight transformation because it’s bad. We fight it because we misunderstand it. But when grace finally comes into view, we realize something has already changed in us — our thinking, our posture, our trust.

This is step one, and it’s already happening.